Queer Corner: Walking while Queer, "homonationalism" and "pinkwashing"

Someone unknown to me commented on my Facebook profile photo (below) sarcastically referencing "homonationalism" and "pinkwashing" because my photo and text (written in Korean) reads "Let's not stigmatize against LGBTQ people."

I took this photo in December at the launch of Hollaback! Korea. At the time, a group of volunteers made a series of photos to respond to their experiences of street harassment. Our project is (meant to be) inclusive of a wide group of people living in South Korea and a safe space to share experience of street harassment, which may include sexual, racial, homophobic and other verbal, non-verbal and physically harassing behavior in public places. So, we wrote our messages in Korean or English and then edited the photos by adding English or Korean text to overlay the photos or by captioning them so that they could be read and shared in both languages to include our whole community of leaders and supporters.

I took a long time to come out as Bisexual and it is an ongoing process of personal reflection and dialog with trusted friends. When I lived in my home country (US) I only let very few people know and I was very intimidated and lacked the confidence to participate in a supportive community. I have lived in Korea for most of the last 8 years and finally became a part of a community that felt safe among my friends to begin to come out. Since I lived in Korea, several times I have heard in Korean, and a few times in English (the English-speaking population is just smaller) Korean nationals and non-nationals alike target lesbian, gay, transgender, bisexual or gender-role non-conforming people (including me) in public places for street harassment. As a bystander or as the person targeted in those situations, I didn't always speak up. Over time and in the few cases when the comment was directed at me or someone I know, I was more likely to say something or take action.

I made this photo and message because in the classroom, on the street, in a restaurant, in media and in other settings I overhear(d) homophobic comments made in Korean and sometimes in English, but since I live in Korea, I overhear them more often in Korean. Coworkers made homophobic comments in front of and at me, and in a few cases even friends who know that I am Bisexual make homophobic "jokes" directed at me. So, I took the opportunity to respond in ways that I always wish I could/did/would when I hear these statements.

The comment gave me a lot to think about, particularly questioning my position as a person speaking out about homophobia. For example, I consider and critique the U.S. State Department for not evaluating its' own human rights record for far too long while leveraging its critique of other states against them in international affairs. Yet, speaking up for myself and supporting friends is not the same thing as "pinkwashing" and "homonationalism" and as a person anywhere I can add my voice to the discussion and I can respond to the harassment I experience. It does not mean that I am an expert, it does not mean that I am condemning anyone, etc. As I put it before, it simply means "Let's not stigmatize against LGBTQ people."

I am glad to belong to communities of people that share experiences with me and support me, and I am glad to have the opportunity for discussion. I am not going to silently endure homophobia and I will continue to use resources available to me to cope with homophobia, so I am very thankful to have a supportive community that is willing to discuss and hear about experiences of street harassment.

Does "Get your arse out, mate" Trivialize Sexism, Street Harassment and Survivors?

The Guardian posted “'Get your arse out, mate': we turn the tables on everydaysexism – video” which is getting praise from some, but I am critical of the video and its potential to education the public or build solidarity. You can watch the video at the link above or embedded here:

The Everyday Sexism Project aims to document “experiences of sexism, harassment and assault to show how bad the problem is &create solidarity.” How does The Guardian's Leah Green work to that end by targeting random men in the street?

The idea of “turning the tables on men” grabs attention, for sure, and we’ve seen very successful scripted videos like OppressedMajority that speak volumes about sexism and street harassment without, actually, harassing anyone in the process.

Maybe the Guardian video can even been seen as a platform to make people hear the words that have been used against those contributing at Everyday Sexism Project. Great, but that can be done by other means.

Having watched the video, I cannot get behind the method.

First, and most importantly, NOBODY should be spoken to in ways that make them uncomfortable or are intended to intimidate, humiliate, shame, etc. The Guardian’s Leah Green does not work for Everyday Sexism, but “performed” scenarios inspired by the project on men. Let’s unpack those euphemisms a bit. The Guardian/Leah Green read real accounts of sexism and harassment, and decided to pick random unsuspecting men on the street and “perform” intimidating actions, harassment, and hate speech on them. I have been harassed on the street, I would absolutely abhor seeing my story as a ‘scenario’ ‘performed’ on another human being. 

Yet, the issue is controversial and it is sparking debates, like this: 

Second, the scenarios do not necessarily promote awareness of sexual harassment or street harassment and in turn may even contribute to homophobia or trivializing street harassment survivors. When Leah Green drives by and catcalls out the window, did that teach anyone about the harm? Worse, when Leah Green targets and asks pairs of men if they have "ever made out," the Guardian reporter is making big assumptions the men being asked, such as about their sexuality. 

The segment absolutely overlooks the reality that gay men and trans men and others also suffer street harassment. Further, in the minds of the men being asked, or folks watching the video, the ‘scenario performed on’ the men in the video may either trigger memories of other times they have been targeted for harassment based on their sexual and/or gender identity. Or, rather than promoting awareness about harassment, the question could spark socially heteronormative or homophobic responses, rather than clicking so that they 'get' how this question connects to street harassment of pairs of women. The Guardian comes off as policing masculinity and echoes hate speech that some LGBTQ viewers may have experienced, rather than educating anyone about the Everyday Sexism Project.  

Third, the randomly selected men are not necessarily those that attack women that contribute to the Everyday Sexism Project site. We don’t know anything educational about this project, it’s method, etc. we don't know what was explained to these men that were "performed on" or what opportunity they had to learn from this experience. How does that build solidarity, which is the aim of the Everyday Sexism Project?

Street harassment is painful, and being targeted may have been painful for the men in the video, too. One news outlet titles the image below “Guardianreporterprank_large” and yet the same article commends the ‘undercover reporter’ for maybe raising “some much-needed awareness along the way” through what is labelled a prank. Harassment is not a prank. As Jezebel's Tracie Egan Morrissey points out, "the construction workers didn't like being catcalled at all." Harassment simply shouldn't be trivialized like this: 

The Everyday Sexism Project does powerful work by bringing these stories to light. Taking the project onto the streets and getting people who might not otherwise take time to self-educate is impressive. i would commend the Guardian and Leah Green for doing that. But, I am not sure they achieve public education, or do they potentially damage the reputation of the Everyday Sexism Project by using its' name and coming off as serving up random retribution to?  Careful consideration no doubt went into producing this video, and it is a really notably different video with raw reactions from real people that are not scripted. There will be discussion and reflection, for starters:

How seriously are the media taking this issue? How well does the Guardian understand street harassment? Does the video come off as retribution or as a public education project?

Seoul Event by Hollaback! Korea: Let's put an end to street harassment in our communities!

Join Hollaback! Korea in Seoul for a discussion about street harassment and how we can end it. Hollaback! Korea supporters will meet Saturday, February 8 from 2-4PM at Ben James coffee shop near Hapjeong station exit 5. Hollaback Site leaders from Seosan and Seoul will be present and welcome all members to participate in the discussion and/or share their stories for support. Hollaback! Korea supporters will strategize how to end street harassment in our communities.

Saturday, February 8, 2014
2:00pm until 4:00pm
Cafe Ben James, Seoul Mapo-Gu Hapjeong-Dong 411-5
See details and RSVP on the Hollaback! Korea Facebook page

Community members of all genders, sexual orientations, race, and national origin are welcome to join Hollaback! Korea. Hollaback! Korea founders and supporters are friends, daughters, students, sisters and brothers, workers, supporters, partners, wives and husbands who are Korean nationals, people of color, adoptees, foreigners, ethnic and overseas Koreans, LGBTQ, young and old, single and multicultural family members of Korean society. we come from Seoul, Gwangju, Busan, Daejeon, Jeju, and Daegu to share these stories. We are building an intersectional space to address street harassment and welcome anyone to join this movement.

This is a map depicting the geographic location of (some of) the stories shared to Hollaback! Korea in the two months since the project launched. See the full map at the Hollaback! Korea website. Pink dots visually depict stories shared by the person targeted for harassment, green dots are stories shared by a bystander who witnessed harassment.

Street Harassment in Korea

A little over six weeks since launching Hollaback! Korea I have already read about 20 stories from members of our community. I have also seen hundreds of people step up to join our project to end street harassment. At our events and during interviews, a number of people who have not written their stories and shared to the site have also discussed the issue with me.

An audience member at our Bystander Intervention Workshop

I am frequently asked, "What is Hollaback?"

Hollaback is an international movement to end street harassment that is active in 24 countries and over 71 cities in 10 languages. By street harassment, we refer to sexist, racist, transphobic, homophobic, ableist, sizeist and/or classist harassment that often targets women, LGBTQ and transgender community members. This harassment takes place in public places like parks, the subway, on the street or in a shop. Street harassment can be intimidating behavior intended to make the target uncomfortable or scared. It can be verbal, physical, gestures or noises, and other forms of intimidating behavior.

"How was Hollaback! Korea founded?"

We are organizing this project all over Korea, but particularly in Seoul, Gwangju, Jeju, Seosan, Daejeon and Daegu. I started to recruit founding team members last July and we all participated in a 3 month online training course and supported by the iHollaback international team so that we could prepare for the launch in early December. We had a lot of hard work like translating the website and mobile app into English, planning 5 launch events in Seoul, Gwangju and Jeju, moderating and growing our social media presence on Facebook and Twitter, and doing media and press outreach. I am really grateful to our team for their dedication and to our community for their warm welcome.

"How does Hollaback! address street harassment?"

Hollaback! has empowered people in over 70 cities and 24 countries internationally to respond to street harassment through a smartphone or web application. Users are encouraged to speak up when they see harassment by quickly documenting it in a short post (photo optional) and sharing it to a publicly viewable map. Anyone browsing the stories on the Hollaback! maps immediately understands 3 things:

1) If you’ve been harassed, you’re not alone,
2) Street harassment is used to exert control over others by making them feel scared or uncomfortable. It is much more than individuals just acting inappropriately.
3) There are street harassment “hotspots” in most cities often centered around high pedestrian traffic areas.
Hollaback! provides comfort to those harassed, and proof that street harassment is a serious problem warranting a serious response from policy makers.

"Is Hollaback! Korea different from other sites because of domestic law?"  

First, it is important to note that our project is about support and social awareness. We are primarily focused on supporting those targeted for street harassment and to promoting public outreach to stop harassers. We believe that what specifically counts as street harassment is determined by those who experience it.  If you’ve experienced street harassment, we’ve got your back! I highly recommend speaking with an organization like Korea Womens Hotline for more detailed analysis of the law, but I can make some personal observations about Korea law.

I think that the Korean legal system is one of the most well organized in the world. Of course there are differences in legal codes country to country, for example, some countries recognize a Good Samaritan code more than Korea. This means that if you intervene to protect someone in danger you get some consideration for being a Good Samaritan. A major difference might be that although Hollaback users in New York and other cities can post the face of their harasser, on our site we have to blur the face and the names of any businesses in the image. We can, and do, post images, but the face has to be blurred. Some countries have more extensive laws covering street harassment than Korea and some do not have such laws. Right now there is a public indecency law with a fine of 30,000 won on the books.

Learn more

I was recently invited to TBS eFM for an interview about Hollaback! Korea to discuss street harassment and have shared the interview below.

Event: Gwangju, Hollaback! Korea Info Table at International Community Day, Oct. 26, 11-5PM, World Cup Stadium

On Saturday, Oct. 26 Hollaback! Korea, a project to address street (sexual) harassment in Korea will hold their first public outreach event. They will share a table with The Vagina Monologues (TVM) at the Gwangju International Community Day. 

Learn more about Hollaback! Korea on:

Facebook

Twitter

or email the organizers at korea @ ihollaback.org

Extended Rebuttal: Inflated Assumption that Sex Workers in Korea Earn “higher than the average Korean”

Here at Korea Gender Café we attempt to present information, data and translations that add to discussion of gender issues in Korean society because we hope to spur discussion. 

Yesterday we submitted a rebuttal piece to koreaBANG’stranslation “Disbelief as Korea is Ranked 108th in Global Gender Equality” that broke down a few methodological flaws in Dr. Kang’s data analysis. Due to space constraints we were unable to respond point-by-point to many of his opinionated assertions. In this post we’d like to zero in on one of the problematic opinions and attitudes he brought into the debate about gender inequality: that the exclusion of the sex industry from workforce participation data inflates the inequality between men and women.

Kang writes,

“Does the misinterpreted data about socioeconomic discrimination in fact imply discrimination against men? 

There are also many problems with the data commonly used to claim sexualdiscrimination against women within Korea. The popular story is that women arebeing discriminated against, as shown by the big gender gap in employment rateand income. However, we need to take a closer look. In fact, the gender gap in employment rate and income is exaggerated in Korea.Among OECD countries, only Korea and Slovenia have made the sex trade completely illegal. MOGEF estimated that there might be 140~270k or a higher number of female sex workers in Korea. Sex workers who earn more than the average worker are exempted from the Korean income statistics while othercountries include them. This partly contributes to the income gap that appearswider on paper than it really is. 

Do they turn a blind eye to this for the sexual discrimination claims?” 

In our submission to koreaBANG we began to respond:

“Dr.Kang points out human rights violations against women in other countries, butwe can point to sexual violence and human rights violations in every country.That is not the purpose of these indices. We agree that it is problematic thatgender inequality indexes do not adequately reflect violence against women orsexual violence. We disagree with Dr. Kang’s outward looking criticism andencourage discussion of sexual violence in Korea.” 

To elaborate, if we want to discuss human rights violations in South Korea, we could pay close attention to the upcoming Constitution Court ruling on the 2004 Act to Prevent Sex Trafficking and Prohibit Prostitution.

First, sex work is omitted from income statistics, as is drug trade, gang/mafia membership and other illegal industries in which we may find both women and men employed. Rather than claiming that its exclusion is an conspiracy to "turn a blind eye" and that it implies "discrimination against men" we find this to be a more persuasive explanation. 

Second, this assumption that sex work earns high incomes likely ignores workplace conditions, rental fees, the lack of pension, income inconsistencies, associated costs, and may obscure all those that profit from the work by taking a portion of fees, etc. 

Third, Dr. Kang does not tell us how many men are employed as sex workers, but some could argue that purchasing the right to sexual use of another’s body in a sex industry with “140~270k or a higher number of female sex workers” in and of itself could be indicative of gender inequality. If the working population is that high while the working population is low in other industries, it suggests there is a segregation of women into a few industries.  

Fourth, others could argue that Dr. Kang ignores men employed in the sex industry or who act as employers of female sex workers. Meanwhile MBN News contributes a stigmatizing tone toward LGBTQ sex workers. 

But what we would really like to argue about -- and the reason we highly anticipate the above mentioned Constitutional Court ruling -- is the persistent social stigmatization of sex workers and violation of sex worker's human rights in police crackdown and incarceration.

First, Dr. Kang never mentions that male clients are only sometimes sent to “John school” while female sex workers pay steep fines and face up to 2 years of mandatory re-education or prison. This is one more example of gender inequality in sentencing. Dr. Kang doesn’t highlight those aspects of policy that actually exist, and he presents no evidence to support his assertions.

Second, sex workers in Korea report serious human rights violations as a consequence of the current legal regime. Sex workers report swallowing condoms because simply walking with a condom is used by the police as evidence against a sex worker. The safety and health implications are rather obvious, but we urge you to read the UNDP report "Sex Work and the Law in Asia and the Pacific: Laws, HIV and human rights in the context of sex work."[1]

Third, heavy stigmatization of females in the sex industry means that even if there were not criminal penalties, gender inequality in sentencing and health perils associated with an aggressive police crackdown, workers are marginalized socially. We highly recommend Katherine Moon’s research for further reading on the history of segregated sex workers near military bases.[2] 

My ongoing research examines the relationship between the 2004 law, court sentencing and gender in Korean society. In the coming months and after publication, I look forward to sharing additional information with our readers. In the meantime, we highly recommend reading posts by sex worker’s rights NGO Giant Girls, 성노동 이론 봇 and Research Project Korea for news. 

For further reading:

Giant Girls, Grant Application, Global Fund for Women, 2010. https://grants.globalfundforwomen.org/GFWSearch/index.php?id=30551

한상희, 건국대 교수, 헌법. “성매매방지법과 여성인권” 민주법학 제30호, 2006.

최우리 기자, "당신이 굳게 믿는 그것이 진리일까," 한겨레,  2012.12.01. http://media.daum.net/society/newsview?newsid=20121201111004557

Cheng, Sealing. “Rethinking “Human Trafficking”: Reflections from South Korea” in Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, MIDDLE EAST PROGRAM & UNITED STATES STUDIES, OCCASIONAL PAPER SERIES, Rethinking Human “Trafficking,” SUMMER 2010.

Godwin, John. "Sex Work and the Law in Asia and the Pacific: Laws, HIV and human rights in the context of sex work." United Nations Development Programme, Oct 2012, p. 112. http://asia-pacific.undp.org/

Kim, Ji Hye. Korea’s New Prostitution Policy: Overcoming Challenges to Effectuate the Legislature’s Intent to Protect Prostitutes from Abuse. Pacific Rim Law & Policy Journal Association, 2007

Moon, Katherine. Military Prostitution and the U.S. Military in Asia, The Asia-Pacific Journal; Japan Focus, Jan 17, 2009.

Weiss, Ayla. Ten Years of Fighting Trafficking: Critiquing the Trafficking in Persons Report through the Case of South Korea, Asian-Pacific Law & Policy Journal [Vol. 13:2, 2012].

[1] Godwin, John. "Sex Work and the Law in Asia and the Pacific: Laws, HIV and human rights in the context of sex work." United Nations Development Programme, Oct 2012, p. 112. http://asia-pacific.undp.org/

[2] Moon, Katherine. Military Prostitution and the U.S. Military in Asia, The Asia-Pacific Journal; Japan Focus, Jan 17, 2009.

Fondling through the Bamboo Gloryhole

Read more of Enzo Cho'Gath's ongoing Queer Corner series.

Queer Corner: Fondling through the Bamboo Gloryhole

When I first read Kissing in a Bamboo Closet by Jarrod S.Chlapowski over at the Huffington Post, I was uneasy.It wasn’t terribly written, and it echoed a lot of my own sentiments with regards to gay life in Korea. There truly is a closet in Asia that is nearly incomprehensibly difficult to understand to many young Westerners. Though I grew up in the bible belt with gay-hating parents and a heavily condemning family, America still had quite a bit of media that showed, at the very least, that gay people are a real thing that exist and are real.

In Korea, for many young gays, it’s different. I’ve known about homosexuality from a very young age, even if it was a slur at the time that I learned about it. The narrative that I often hear from older Koreans is often that they had no idea what it meant to be gay; they didn’t understand that men can solely be attracted to other men, and that women could be solely attracted to other women. It was an invisible sin for many years in a country whose technological development was so rapidly outpacing the social evolution that we now see occurring.

Many of the gay Koreans I met, especially in the southern sections of the country, hours outside of the cosmopolitan Seoul, shared that although their first attractions to men were at a young age, their first male-on-male sexual experiences occurred in the army. Cloistered away from society for nearly two years, surrounded by men and often forced to share both shower and bed with comrades, many men are so bathed in hormones and male flesh that it becomes a common act to ‘help a brother out’ and engage in anything from mutual masturbation to actual intercourse. Talk about a good friend, right?

But these experiences force gays even further into shame. Straight men who engage in these acts do so out of desperation, or out of a sense of group loyalty. Fraternities in the US also use acts of male-on-male sex as a means of power and oppression against pledges and younger members. So what about the participants who enjoy the acts? How much further must they strive to hide the fact that what should only be an act of duty is actually enjoyable to them?

Thus we see some of the outlining of the so-called Bamboo Closet. What sort of name is that, anyways? Orientalism much? It is undeniable a fact that gay life and culture is uniquely Korean. But I don’t really even remember seeing that much bamboo in Korea. Why don’t we be more specific and call it something like the ‘Semiconductor Closet’ (their number one national export) or the ‘Wireless Telecommunications Equipment Exporting Closet’, or maybe even the ‘Kimchi Closet’? Just the idea of a kimchi closet makes my nose itch.

But that’s the reality of the situation. Mr Chlapowski wrote an interesting article on some of his observations about Korea but the whole thing fell pretty flat for me. He writes from an extremely privileged perspective that is very common when Westerners go to Asia and critique the culture without ever really understanding it. He is too busy rubbing himself in self-satisfaction as he mutters to himself, “Oh yes, you are changing the world, oh yeah, that’s the spot, you impressive world-changer.”

He barely comments on the role of traditional Confucianism in daily life, especially for those that live outside of Seoul. He seems to fundamentally misunderstand the traditional role of Jongro- it is popular largely among older Korean gays because it is where closeted, married Korean men went to find gay prostitutes, young boyfriends (often money-less high school dropouts from the countryside) and each other. Because it was always a popular area for drinking, it was easy for gay men to hide among the bars and find other men seeking sexual partners. Telling your wife that you’re going for drinks in Jongro triggered nothing unusual in a country where 회식 (‘company dinner’) figures so prominently in the life of the salaryman.

Mr Chlapowski refuses to engage on the life of the truly closeted young possibly because it is so complex and hopefully he recognizes his own ignorance on the subject. Koreans can be notoriously close-mouthed and nervous around foreigners and there is nothing that will make them quiet more than an unknown white guy, wandering around their own, few safe spaces, asking questions about something that remains so strange and shameful to many gay Koreans.

Interviewing some bartenders and activists in Korea may provide the Huffington Post with a few interesting facts about gay life in Korea. It’s a light, shallow and very perfunctory glance at something incredibly complex and painful for many people. The pressure and pain that every member of a family faces when difference is encountered is something not to be made light of, but Jarrod seems to ignore all of those dynamics with little more than a brief, cast-aside mention of the importance of family dynamics.

Such a desultory account of a short time in a complex country is little more than groping around in the dark, hoping to find a few interesting stories to grab on to and then boast about later. Nearly half of the article revolves around his personal account of bragging about kissing another foreigner in public. Wow, man, great job. You’re super brave for kissing on a train platform. Next in line for ambassador, I presume?

In the end, though his account occasionally hits on a few truthful points, his portrayal of the Bamboo Closet is broken, at best, and downright fallacious at worst. An activist? The last thing Korea needs is random foreigners swooping in and telling them how to live their lives and improve their country. It’s not Saudi Arabia, after all. Because America did such a good job swooping into the Middle East and telling THEM how to live their lives and improve their countries, right?

Jarrod says that he cares what happens in his world. I would agree that the lives of LGBT humans all over the world are a concern because so many are denied their human rights. Yet his calling himself a social scientist, bragging about his work and publishing compliments that people throw at him does little other than stroke his own ego. He isn’t saving the world; from far outside and away, he’s fondling progress through the bamboo gloryhole. 

Imbalance of Power and Rape in the Korean Gay Community (Queer Corner)

Contributor Enzo Cho-Gath writes:

Throughout history, rape has been used as a tool to control populations, especially women (discussed elsewhere on this blog). Rape was a common enough occurrence in ancient Israel that they even passed laws for dealing with the after effects- if the female gets pregnant, he should marry her. As is typical in patriarchal societies, the will of the women is constantly erased as she remains a silenced victim, treated by the law as little more than a dumping ground for male hormones.

Even in modern-day America, rape and its definition is still being fought over by different groups. Date rape, 'forcible rape', 'rape-rape' and other ridiculous terms are constantly thrown around to legitimize discrimination against women and to silence victims at every possible term. Unfortunately, the fact that males can be victims of rape is often overlooked, and that is what we are going to look at in this column.

The concept of date-rape is often absent in Korean discourse. In fact, when trying to ask a few mid-20s Koreans I know even how to properly say the word in Korean, two of them said that it was a word I'd never need and refused to continue the conversation. The third honestly was uncomfortable but let me know later it was 강간  (or rape).

The very discomfort people show in discussing rape demonstrates the power it holds over victims in society. I've heard story after story about rapes occurring but have never directly heard a  Korean friend  call it a rape- typically they mitigate the circumstances, pretend it was consensual, or blame the victim even when they are the victims themselves. A conversation on a gay networking site shed some light on just how stringent the problem is here.

애: 안하고싶긴 했어옄
Him: I didn't want to do it but I did haha
나: 그건 강간아니지???
Me: Isn't that rape??
애: 어떤분이랑 데이트? 했어요 ㅋㅋ 근데 그 분이 계속 술을 주는거예여 근데 한국예의가 어른이 주는 술은 먹어야 혜의가 있는거예여 주는대로 먹었다가..ㅋ 뻗어서 모텔 갔음....ㅋ 그날 집에 갓긴 했는데 밤에 느읒게~ ㅋ
Him: I went on a date with someone, but he kept giving me alcohol. Korean etiquette is that you drink whatever someone older than you gives you [ed: especially if they're paying], so I drank what he gave. Then he took me to a motel. I went home that night but very late.
나: 아...그럼 그놈이랑 섹스???
Me: Uh, did you have sex?
애: 그런셈이죠 근데 저두 좋아서 그런지 반항은 안한것같아요.
Him: Basically, but I liked [it/him] so I guess I didn't say no.

This is a pretty common story, made all the more alarming by the fact that it was being told by a 17 year old about an event that had happened over two years prior, when he was just 15. After some further discussion, he continued to refuse to call it rape, only saying that if he didn't want to have sex, he shouldn't have met the 26 year-old who raped it. He blamed himself and said he probably wanted it anyways.

So what we have is a 26 year old buying a 15 year old alcohol and taking him to a hotel and raping him, but the victim himself doesn't acknowledge the situation as rape because he blames himself (also note that these ages follow  Korean age conventions- that means that according to birthdate a 24/25 year-old man raped a 13/14 year-old middle school student). The boy continued to insist it was his fault and that he just doesn't meet that guy anymore- so it's all okay. It's not like he was murdered.

In addition to the lack of awareness that date rape IS rape, there seems to be a cultural reluctance to see that power imbalances play a big role in sex and rape. This is a big issue in America as well, especially when managers seduce or pressure employees into sex. Even in the gay community, there seems to be this misconception that any male who has sex has wanted it and that it's not 'real rape' if the victim is a bottom. This ridiculous concept is never better illustrated than in the constant jokes about how gay men must love prison.

Especially in a culture in which men must follow their 'older brother' (형), it's extremely difficult for a young gay man to ever feel truly safe on a date. There is an overall cultural idea that forming a friendship outside of your birth year (known as '동갑친구') is difficult and maybe impossible; age differences even as slight as a year lead to burdens such as the example above with alcohol. Even if someone a year older than me were to pour me alcohol, it would be rude of me to reject it, extremely rude if they're paying. When you have cultural pressures that fall so heavily on these young students, it's no wonder that they don't want to call it rape- in many of their minds, it's just an inevitable part of dating culture.

I remember a few personal experiences of attempted rape when I lived in Seoul. The first was at a Jongro bar in which I was drinking very heavily with a group of acquaintances. An older gentlemen, at least ten years my senior, came over with a bottle of soju and proceeded to continue getting me drunk while the guys I was with began partnering off for the night. He began stroking my leg and telling me how I would make such a cute bottom, and one of the guys I was with actually egged him on, saying that I should take this as a compliment. When I did not, they said I shouldn't be rude or make a scene- just follow hyung (형, older brother), do what he says- it's polite, it's Korean culture, they claimed, ashamed of my rudeness.

I tried rejecting the alcohol, much to the embarrassment of my party, and after just ten minutes, the older man attempted to take me to a motel, presumably before I sobered up. I had to physically push him off of me, again to the embarrassment of my party, and stormed out, running around a few corners to keep the pervert from following me before I could grab a taxi.

Another time was at a club in Itaewon when a man much larger than me grabbed my arm, pulling me through a busy crowd, and into the bathroom. I had seen him many times before but we had never talked, he seemed shy around strangers, but I thought maybe he just wanted to talk- after all, the bathroom was the quietest place in the building and using it as a place to talk was common. I asked what he wanted and he responded by shoving his hands down my pants and saying that he wanted to fuck me in the bathroom. I politely said no, then I hit him, and left for the night.

Looking back, I realize that these events may not be representative of what happens every single day in Korea. But the fact that these two attempted rapes on someone as visible as a (at that time) blonde white person took place at two extremely popular and busy venues for gays, it only makes me all the more concerned about what is happening at the smaller venues that slips past the eye because consent is so difficult to discuss, let alone see from a distance. Even more so I am concerned that younger gay men may not have opportunities to discuss consent and that prevailing attitudes toward age hierarchy add a power dynamic that could promote rape culture within the gay community in Korea.

All I can say is that I sincerely hope that there are opportunities for change in the near future. Rape is never a joke and is never okay, under any circumstances. I'm thankful even for the vocabulary that I have to discuss- I know what rape is, but even for me, discussing the exact boundaries for what consent is can be tricky. I wish that there were opportunities for young gays to learn about consent and rape so that they can avoid the pain and shame that so many others seem to believe is nothing more than inevitable.

So that means that the question truly is "How do we educate ourselves about consent?"

UPDATE: We have reposted information about how to secure medical treatment and police support in case of sexual violence at this link.

At this point the Korean Gender Café would like to identify additional support resources for rape victims or for gay community members, but this is a work in progress (we welcome you to provide information in the comments section and thank you for your contributions here!)

Adaptable Human Services seems to have services in English and in Korean for therapy, or might have referral suggestions (this is not an endorsement by our blog) Website: http://ahskorea.com/

Reaction to Seoulbeats Review of K.Will’s Please Don’t music video 케이윌 이러지마 제발

Contributed by Enzo Cho'Gath in our continuing Queer Corner series

K.Will’s Please Don’t music video

K.Will

I had heard of K.Will quite a few times but with an overall lack of interest in Kpop, I didn't give him much of a fair chance. But when The Kimchi Queen posted a link  to the singer's most recently released music video, I decided to give it a chance. K.Will’s music video is ground-breaking.

Homosexuality has, for (too) many years, been a subject of controversy throughout the world. However, Korea has taken a relatively unique stance for quite some time- Korean society largely just acts like homosexuality doesn't exist. In a society where genders are separated eagerly and early, where men - via their forced conscription into the army - are pushed into all-male environments for nearly two years at a time,  even acknowledging the fact that homosexuality exists as an orientation could be awkward to many people. The consequences of sex segregation go beyond gender discrimination, and may obscure social dialog about homosexuality. As one friend put it, "It's not gay when you do it because there are no women around."

But attitudes are changing and the Korean media, over the course of the last decade, has finally begun to represent homosexuality across its various mediums. Starting with the outing of popular actor Hong Suk-cheon, the visibility of homosexuality went from invisible to camouflaged and eventually to Blockbuster status.

Films in the early 2000s such as Bungee Jumping of Their Own (2001) and Momento Mori (2001) often silenced the subjects of homosexuality that they presented by claiming other realities about them- for example, that the gay relationship wasn't really gay because one man was actually a woman reborn into a man's body (oh, woe is me!), or that the lesbian relationship was somehow an allegory for the 'otherness' of communism. What?

However, in 2006, homosexuality was increasingly represented  in larger volumes and huge grossing films like The King and the Clown (2005)and later Frozen Flower (2008). Homosexual relationships were openly portrayed in these films, a big step for a society that still remained largely conservative toward accepting homosexuality. Dramas such as Coffee Prince (2007), Personal Preference (2010) and Life is Beautiful (2010) wrestled with the issues as well with the last even portraying the grueling efforts of coming out to one's family and the trials that come with it.

Starship Entertainment - K.Will

In the world of Kpop, however, there has been very little progress. With Hallyu resulting in Korean media being exported to countries that remain even more conservative, Korean pop companies appear to have avoided much interaction with homosexuality and its presence in society. K.Will's "Please Don't" music video features a very clear and inarguable reference to homosexual love; this is a big game changer.

The issues that homosexuals in Korea face with regard to societal and family pressure are no joke. Life is Beautiful also deals with these issues and there is a telling episode in which the gay character Tae-sub's own uncle calls him "mentally deficient" because of his homosexuality. K.Will's video leaves the exact relationship of the two men ambiguous, but it appears as if they lived together, and that the woman has not been around for terribly long. Therefore, it is not a stretch to argue that the two men had been involved with one another before one was pushed to marry, a story that parallels what happens all too often  in a country that places such high value on filial piety.

All in all, I am both surprised and pleased by K.Will's efforts and hope to see more progress like this in the world of Kpop.

What I was not pleased with was the response of the website 'Seoulbeats' to the video.

In their article, contributor Nicholas  reviews the video and somehow either misses the entire presence of homosexuality, or  obliquely refers to the main actor's pain and desire by writing simply that:

"The Music Video concludes with the Heartbreak Maserati stationary amongst flowing traffic, as the “ideal” pairing was shown..."

In fact, throughout the entire review there is no mention of homosexuality, queerness,and the word 'gay' cannot be found at all. References to the current drama "Reply Me 1997" abound in the article and the comments, and this a drama well known for it's portrayal of a homosexual relationship, yet somehow the author completely forgets that K.Will's video is an ode to unfulfilled gay love. I immediately left this comment at Seoulbeats:

"How can you write an article on this video without even using the word 'gay'? This is a big step for South Korea and you've completely ignored what are actually some very big social ramifications. This video is the story of a gay couple that was broke up when one of them decided to marry a woman. That is a huge social issue in Korea and one that is very real. By not even mentioning the homosexual content (and instead only obliquely referencing it as "the ideal pairing") you're erasing something that should be discussed. This is a huge oversight and overall poor journalism."

This review could be an opportunity to discuss the changing landscape of Korean culture and the opening up of sexuality in such a conservative country. Especially after Seoulbeat’s great coverage and discussion of Gain's solorelease "Bloom" I was very surprised to see how the K.Will Please Don’t review failed to cover an important issue in any society today.

Instead of bringing the issue at hand to the forefront, the writer has instead erased the presence of homosexuality and K.Will’s voice. Surely someone who writes for a Kpop website is aware of how rare these opportunities are and how this can signify a shift in society. Yet they choose to participate in the silencing of homosexuals and this is by no means acceptable.

In a society where people of alternative sexualities already have little voice, representation or rights (homosexuality is still classified as a mental disorder), taking away any opportunity to be treated as equals is unequivocally wrong. Social progress is made by the airing of these issues and silencing someone's voice or their identity is akin to shaming them for that identity.

I do not ask that every writer discussing homosexual content in Korean media be a fan; air your opinion when possible as openly as you'd like. Post openly about how homosexual content is ruining society- I don't care. It is everyone's right to express the opinions that they hold. What is not acceptable is when a Staff Writer speaks on behalf of “a dedicated groupof writers who are interested in the larger picture in pop. Seoulbeats is an ongoing project of discussion and dissection” and  chooses to deny the existence of a group, for whatever reason that may be.

Since Seoulbeats comments standards indicate that they expect their readership “to respect all opinions. We will not tolerate racist, sexist, homophobic or any other vulgar comments that disrespect our writers and our readers” I hope in the future that Seoulbeats will reconsider on the dialog they present on these topics.

References: 

Kim and Singer. “Three Periods of Korean Queer Cinema” in Acta Koreana. Vol. 14 Num. 1 June 2011, pg. 117-136

Referenced websites:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PdUiCJnRptk, Accessed 2012.10.16

http://www.starship-ent.com/kwill/, Accessed 2012.10.16

http://thekimchiqueen.blogspot.kr/2012/10/k-wills-new-single-is-fantastic.html, Accessed 2012.10.16

http://seoulbeats.com/2012/10/please-dont-give-k-wills-effort-a-miss/, Accessed 2012.10.16

http://seoulbeats.com/2012/10/why-ga-in-gets-a-pass-but-hyuna-doesnt/, Accessed 2012.10.16

http://seoulbeats.com/about/, Accessed 2012.10.16

Image credits:

005 K.Will.jpg - Source [http://rawr6127.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/img6811f.jpg], Accessed 2012.10.16

005 K.Will Starship Source [http://www.starship-ent.com/kwill/], Accessed 2012.10.16

Queer Corner: Violence in a Label - 마짜, 때짜, 올

When I first began to venture out into the "old city" and began meeting some of the local boys, I was immediately awash in all sorts of culture shock and language barrier on two completely separate dimensions- first, there was still my foreignness and the difference between my white skin and local culture, and second, there was moving into the minority realm of homosexual culture in Korea (and therefore Korean language, too).

While of crossing both of those hills, I was introduced to two terms that I mentioned in my previous post - 마짜  [ma.jja] and 때짜 [ddae.jja]. They, respectively, mean 'bottom' and 'top', as we call the sexual positions between gay men engaging in anal intercourse in English. 'Top' typically refers to the man on top and therefore the one who penetrates, and 'bottom' to the man on bottom and who is penetrated.

Now, even in English, the names represent their own bias. Tops are typically viewed as more of a 'man' and bottoms as more feminine. Many people call the top 'the man' in the relationship, relegating a weaker position to the penetrated partner. This is a direct reflection of power discrepancies between men and women in sex and society- again, the penetrated partner is viewed as weaker and less important. Frankly, it all seems silly- in order to f*** at all, you need both people and I wish the best of luck to any top who desires sex without a man willing to bottom.

Moving on:

As is common in general Korean language, they often adopt English words in slang and pop culture, and 'top' (탑) and 'bottom' (바텀) are no different. However, there still arose native Korean words to describe the two sexual positions (or 성향, 'tendency', as described in an earlier post). Their derivation, though, is a little worrisome, because instead of just implying a power difference between the two roles, but they actually contain significant violence.

때짜 is derived from the Korean verb 때리다, or 'to hit'. 마짜 is derived from 맞다 , or 'to be hit'. That's right- a top, simply by his name in Korean, is described as 'hitting' or 'striking' his partner who, by his very name, receives the strike or beating. They are both, by nature, violent words, and the implications for violence in sex is worrisome.

            Note: There is a direct reflection of similar naming in Japanese in which the top is called seme and bottom uke, terms derived from martial arts meaning "to attack" and "to be attacked". 

To provide one more comparison, looking at Spanish, the words for top and bottom are actually activio and passivo, phrases that are  remnants of old views on the sexual relations between men and women.

If I speak honestly, there's a certain wry humor that can be taken from the terms. It is a bit funny that sexual partners are described as hitting and being hit in sex- frankly, there's a certain truth in it. We are humans, after all, and sex in real life (IRL) is rarely as neat and clean as it is on TV or in the movies. Perhaps it is just the puritanical upbringing from my American background that causes me to balk at such an honest admission, and maybe Korea is actually more progressive for being open about it- maybe it's just a sign of frank sexual positivity.

While that may be a possible explanation, every fiber in my being is leaning pretty far away from it. A conversation with a former sexual partner comes to mind and forgive me for the frankness, but hey- welcome to the queer corner.

 나 (Me): 내가 버텀할땐 너무 아프면 바로 그만해주라고 하는거야. 고통이 싫다. "If I bottom and it hurts, I tell him to stop right away. I don't like pain."           

이놈: 여기 한국이잖아. 마짜가  버텨야겠다. 아파도 때짜를 따라해야지뭐. “Hey this is Korea. You have to bear it. Even if it hurts, it is the bottom’s role." 

나 (Me): 웅? 씨발. 둘이함께 즐거워야지, 안그러면 재미없어. “"What? Bullshit. We should enjoy it together, if not then it's boring." 

이놈: 글쎄. 문화차이. "Meh. It's a cultural difference."

 While I agree that not everyone may feel that way or be quite so frank about the situation, I have found over the course of my time here that that truly is the prevailing attitude. It's the bottoms job to just take it, regardless of how they feel, and the top's enjoyment is all that really matters. That disparity is coded into the very names of the two positions, something I find very troubling.

Even describing the positions in Korean can be difficult. In my previous post, my lovely cowriters here struggled with a translation- and I'll include a bit of the thinking behind them:

"I tried to come up with a definition but it was really odd sounding to Korean friends, I used words that translate like 'inserter' or 'receiver' so you may have noticed in the post that they were explained as 남성성형 (male position) or 여성성형 (female position) by Jenderole/젠더롤 when he edited (for the sake of clarity in Korean)... which on reflection actually really bothered me bc it seems we reaffirm binary thinking (meaning: even though sexuality is diverse, our thinking and description conforms to man/woman reflecting a heteronormative attitude), if that makes sense?" – Chelle B. Mille

 Personally, when I find myself discussing the finer points of gay sex, in Korean, to people outside of the loop, I go with 받는사람 for bottom ('person that receives') and 해주는사람 for top ('person that gives'). While perhaps not perfectly, I do believe them to be respectful and honest to men of both types. Also, notice how I used verbs- that describes the role in terms of an action, not a description of personhood. I find it important to recognize topping and bottom as an act, an event- just like sex itself is. After all, there are plenty of people who are versatile and enjoy both- a rising popularity in Korea known as the 올, or 'all.'

  

What do you think, community? Is Korean language more sexually positive in its nomenclature than English? Do you agree with my concern that the Korean words used to describe sexual roles between gay men reflect violence? Or do you have another idea?

-Enzo Cho'Gath

Note: Apparently, there are also tops and bottoms in relationships between two women in Korea, I learned after speaking with a local lesbian. I don't know much about how that works- any one able to elaborate on that?