9.25.2012

What rejuvenates my vagina?!?! Not Lasers!!!


As if I didn't already have enough social pressure to look perfect... now my dearest body part... my body part that I myself can't even see without a mirror, that I share with one who loves and respects me... is to be gauged, analyzed, dissected according to the following "designer" surgeries:

"Laser detailed fat sculpturing"
"Laser wrinkle elimination"
This must be what doctors think my wrinkled and fat vagina looks like. 

The people at the center have provided extensive before and after photos, and even illustrations to make sure we understand the power of laser surgery.

I guess they will also bleach it pink with "Designer Laser Vaginoplasty" - in that case can I get mine in Louis Vuitton print?!?! Pink isn't really my favorite color. Can I order my vagina in purple or neon green?

Wow, my "damaged" vagina can get a "World class hymen recovery" via a 'systemized' procedure to 'increase sexual sensation' uh... I guess re-breaking the hymen would be a 'sensation' but for whose benefit? ***Note that the procedure is effective "when there was no bleeding at the first intercourse" so I guess there is new recourse to avoid slut shaming... now I don't have to prepare a water balloon of chicken blood for my honeymoon in order to uphold my modest virtue.


I am ever so grateful that I can now "plan for remarriage" thanks to the genius of MISS Rejuvenation, I am so glad that this isn't a procedure only for old, fat and wrinkled vaginas but that even young vaginas are damaged and recommended for surgery.

Sarcasm aside, what do you, dear readers, think about these surgeries? 
What do you think about the marketing messages?

*I am aware that this is by no means a uniquely Korean issue, but I came across the advertisements on a website and needed to write away some of the frustration and shock I felt at the rhetoric and images.