Showing posts with label Domestic Violence/가정폭력. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Violence/가정폭력. Show all posts

11.07.2013

Testify, PART III: Sex After Sexual Assault 성폭행 후의 성생활 [Guest Post]

Join us in thanking guest blogger Chloe Lee Myunghyun, an organizer of Disruptive Voices, for sharing this final installment on her series about sexual assault, police reporting and dating after assault. Please also read Part I: The Morning After and Part II: Latent Rapists
-Chelle B Mille

PART III: Sex After Sexual Assault 성폭행 후의 성생활

사건 사고 발생일로부터 이미 1년 4개월, 내가 성폭행 생존자라는 것을 깨달은지 8개월째.
A year and four months after the attack, and 8 months since I realized I am a survivor.

재미있는건 자신이 어떤 상황에서 피해자임을 깨닫는것 만큼 자의식이 뚜렷해지는 일도 없지만 그만큼 섹스에 대한 태도도 바뀐다. 내가 처음 "내가 당한일은 그가 술마셔서, 약을 해서야"등 그에게 변명을 대줬고 끊임없이 당시 무력했던 자신을 자책한 것은 이미 거론했다. 그러나 시간이 흘러가면서 더 이상 이런 자기연민에 빠져있는 피해자가 아닌, 이 일로 다른 사람들을 도울수 있는 생존자가 되려고 노력했다. 나의 대처 방법은 남들에게 나의 이야기를 하는 것이었다. 이를 통해 성적 학대에 대한 이야기들을 주위에서 더 많이 듣게 되었고 무섭게도 얼마나  흔히 있는 일인지 깨달았다. 말을 할수록 자신에게 대한 수치심이나 부끄러움도 덜었다. 얘기할 때마다 나는 더 큰 해방감을 느꼈다.

The funny thing is there is nothing more that awakens the consciousness than discovering that you are a victim, but my attitude towards sex had changed permanently. In the beginning, I came up with all sorts of excuses to for him, "This happened to me 'cus he was drunk, 'cus he was high", and I have already mentioned how much I faulted my helplessness. As time passed, I no longer wanted to be a victim wallowing in self-pity, but worked hard to become a survivor that could help others through my experience. My way of dealing with it was to tell others my story. The more I told my story, the more individuals around me came forward with their own stories. The more I talked about it, the more the shame and humiliation wore off. I felt more liberated every time I shared.

그러나 이 이야기를 쉽게 꺼낼수 없는 상대들이 있었다. 이들은 나의 섹스 파트너들이었다.  내 파트너 중 가장 가까운 친구외에는 그 누구에게도 내 이야기를 말하지 않았다. 나의 대다수의 파트너들은 친구도 연인도 아닌 애매한 사이의 상대들이었고 이런 나의 일을 털어놓으면 애매한 사이가 더 틀어지는 건 뻔하다. 그들과 은밀한 나의 일부를 공유하면서도, 나의 은밀한 일들을 말할수 없는게 참 모순이다. 끌리면 가능했던 섹스, 나는 소위 "해방된, 개방적인 성생활"을 누리고 있다고 생각했지만 되돌아보면 완전히 깨어있는 정신으로 섹스를 한 적이 별로 없었다. 더 짜증나는 사실은 나에게 있었던 일이 강제추행이라는 것을 깨닫고 난 후 섹스 할 때마다 자신의 트로우마의 흔적을 다시 보게됐다. 내가 당한게 범죄라는 것을 알기 전에는 이러한 증상에 시달리지 않았다. 이런걸 보면 차라리 몰랐으면…이라는 생각도 든다.

But there were certain individuals I could not share my story to. Those were my sex partners. Excluding one that is a close friend of mine, I did not tell anyone else. All of my partners have been in-betweens, someone lost between friend and lover, and I knew the already-awkward relationships would turn terribly awry if I told them what had happened to me. It was ironic how I could not be intimately comfortable with them even though I was sharing a part of me that was intimate. I was living a "liberated and conscious" sex life, yet looking back I can count how many times I have had completely sober sex. The brunt of this turmoil was that the trauma hit an all-time high after once my experience was labeled “sexual assault”. I have been seeing traces of my trauma smudged under the sheets, on the ceiling, and the four walls of every bedroom I was intimate in. I didn’t suffer from such symptoms before it was called assault, and I sometimes wonder if it was better not knowing at all.

이 일이 있는 전까지는 첫 경험한 남자하고만 잠자리를 가졌었다. 당시 우린진지한 사이도 아니었지만 섹스에 대해 꽤 보수적이었다. 그러나 그 일 이후로 새로운 "성적 자유로움"을 찾은 나, 진실로 성 주체성을 되찾은 것인가 아님 아직도 트로우마에서 헤어나오지 못하는 것인지? 나는 전자라고 믿고 싶다.

Before the incident, I was that girl, physically and emotionally loyal to the man I lost my virginity to. He was merely a distant friend; I suppose I was quite conventional in a sense . But after a failed attempt at prosecuting my perpetrator, was my new-found "sexual liberation" truly a statement of my restoring my sexuality or was I in denial about my healing? I hope for the former.

경찰서 사건 이후로 이 일이 산산조각난 후 만나고 있는 점잖은 친구 한 명과 처음으로 제대로된 성관계를 가졌다. 그리고 잠에 들었는데 그날 저녁 강간 당한 꿈을 꿨다. 꿈에서 나는 곧바로 병원에서 검사를 받고 증거물을 가지고 경찰서에 가서 신고했다. 신고 대상도 아닌게 한이었나보다. 다음 번에는 그와 섹스를 한 후 순간 너무 더럽게 느껴졌고 갑자기 공황증상까지 오기도 했다. 예상치도 못한 기이한 상황들이 벌어지자  나는 투쟁 정신이 강해졌다. 한동안은 금욕주의자가 될까도 생각해봤지만 이 일로 하여금 내 자신을 더 이상 자책하거나 벌주고 싶진 않았다. 무엇보다도 끌리는 사람이 있으면 자연스럽게 원하게 된다. 물론 가장 이상적인 상황은 나를 아끼고 사랑해주는 상대를 만나 나에게 있었던 일들을 모두 얘기하고, 그가 날 이해해주고, 날 더 사랑해주고, 우린 열정적이고 불타오르는 섹스를 할 것이고 등등.. 말해봤자 희망사항일뿐 난 내 자신을 위해 더 현실적인 방법으로 대면해야 했다.

One of the first times I had sober sex after the incident, I fell asleep after and dreamt that I got raped. The morning after I went to the hospital and filed a police report with the evidence at hand. I must have been hung up about not being validated. The next time, it felt so dirty after and I had a panic attack where I felt like I was drowning. As these strange events occured, I only wanted to fight this even more. For some time, I wondered if I should become celibate but I no longer wanted to blame or punish myself for what happened. On top of that, I naturally crave intimacy when I meet someone I am attracted to. Granted, the most ideal scenario would be to be intimate with someone that loves me and I will feel comfortable to tell them everything and they will understand, love me even more and we will have passionate, hot sex, etc but these are unrealistic demands. I had to make more practical decisions about my sex life.

시간이 지난 후 또 끌리는 상대를 만났다. 이때는 정말이야 말로 이 트로우마이고 뭐고 자유로운 섹스를 하고 싶었다. 그리고 정말 오랫만에 잠자리에서 다른 남자를 상상하지 않고그냥 그에게 너무 끌렸다. 도중 화장실이 급해 침대에서 일어나 혼자 화장실로 들어갔는데 나도 모르게 울기 시작했다. 울면서도 계속 내 자신에게 "안돼, 이걸 이겨야 해"라고 하면서 화장실에서 나와 그는 마저 2시간동안 침대를 달궜다.

After some time, I met another person I was undeniably attracted to. Trauma or not, I wanted to enjoy sex openly. And for the first time in a long time, I had sex with him without fantasizing about someone else. I was just so attracted to him. In the middle, I had to pee so I went to the bathroom alone and I started crying uncontrollably. Even through the tears, I told myself, "I need to fight this," and came out looking fresh and we heated up the sheets for two more hours.

모임에 있는 친구들에게 성적 학대 후 성 생활에 대해 물어봤을때 그들은 시간이 약이라고 한다. 그러면서도 가끔 좌절하게 될때도 있다고 한다. 인생의 모든 안 좋은 추억과 일들처럼, 흔적은 남는다. 나에게 정답은 없다. 내가 다음에 만날 상대와 잠을 잤을 때도 똑같이 고통스러울까? 아니면 아무런 느낌도 없을까? 지금만큼은 이 노이로제에서 벗어나고 싶다. 그러나 제발, 제발... 아무 느낌도 없는 섹스만 아니었으면 좋겠다.

When I ask my friends from the meetings about sex after sexual assault, they that it gets better with time. But that you still have your moments. Just like everything bad you go through in life, the traces remain. I have no real answers. Will I still hurt with the next man I sleep with? Or will I feel nothing at all? All I want right now is a peace of mind. But please, please... I just wish for anything but sex that doesn’t make me feel anything.


Check out Disruptive Voices for discussion groups about consent, violence, and other topics:



10.15.2013

Testify, PART I: The Morning After [Guest Post]

Korean Gender Café partners with guest blogger Chloe Lee Myunghyun, an organizer of Disruptive Voices, who shares her story in the first of a three part series about sexual assault, police reporting and dating after assault. Thank you to our sisters organizing Disruptive Voices for opening up dialog for survivors and to spread awareness about sexual violence. Please also read Part II: Latent Rapists and Part III: Sex After Sexual Assault 성폭행 후의 성생활.
-Chelle B Mille

PART I: The Morning After 


어제 쿨하게 대해줘서 고마워 

Thanks for being cool about last night.

내가 어제 있었던 일에 대해 태연하다고 생각하지마.

Don't think that I am cool with it.

미안.

Sorry

미안

I am sorry.

너무 미안해.

I am so sorry.

진심으로 사과할께.

I apologize.

난 그 일 이후 그냥 아무일도 없었다는 듯이 그날의 일을 깊숙히 묻어버렸다. 심지어 그 일 이후 그가 내 앞에서 무릎꿇고 용서해달라고 했을때도, 그가 나를 우연히 마주칠때마다 미안하다고 계속 얘기할때면은 "얘 왜 이러냐. 그 정도로 심각하건 않인데"라고 내 자신에게 강해야된다고 최면을 걸었던 것 같다. 그리고는 8개월이 지났다. 2013년 2월 중, 나의 페이스북 계정으로 아는 친구가 메세지를 보내왔다. 내용은 현재 그와 관련된 4명의 성추행 및 성폭행 피해자가 밝혀졌다며 더 많은 피해자들의 증언이 필요하다는 단체 메세지였다. 그 순간 충격과 역겨움은 말로 표현할 수도 없다. 이런 생각이 잘못됐을 수도 있지만 한편으로는 일종의 안도감도 느꼈다. 내가 혼자가 아니라는 안도감. 내가 당했던 일에 대한 명분이 생긴것만 같았다.

I buried everything that happened that night, in a back burner somewhere and I wanted it to disappear. Even when he got on his knees in public to ask for forgiveness, and every time he apologized when he saw me. I would tell myself, "What the fuck is his problem? It's not that serious." Maybe it was my way of defending my deep-seated denial. And then 8 months passed. February of 2013, I received a message from a friend, asking for victims of my perpetrator to come forward, as there were already 4 other victims from sexual harassment to rape. The moment I received the message, I was sick to my stomach. But I also felt a sense of relief. Maybe it isn't the most politically correct thing, but a sense of relief knowing that I wasn't the only one. I found cause, a type of legitimacy, if you will, about what happened to me.

한편 난 위험한 논리로 자학했다. 내가 당한게 성추행 또는 성폭행이라면, 난 왜 싸우지 않았을까? 즉, 그를 때리지 않은게 내 탓이며 당시 격렬한 몸싸움이 없었기에 성폭행이 아니다. 그러나 사실 이런 논리는 1) 성폭행 또는 추행의 형태 대한 고정관념 2) "______을 (안)했기에 내 탓이다"라는 사고는 피해자 책임전가로 피해자들이 흔히 시달리는 전형적인 문제들이다.

On the other hand, I was torturing myself with a self-created, twisted logic. If what happened to me was sexual assault, why didn't I fight him? If I didn't hit him to defend myself, it is my fault and therefore it is not sexual assault. But this flawed logic is what a lot of survivors suffer from. It is flawed because it 1) reinforces a stereotype that there is only one form of sexual assault and/or rape 2) is a typical case of victim blaming: "Because I did (not) ________, it is my fault."

1주일동안 망설이며 이 사건과 가해자를 아는 가까운 친구들 2명에게 조언을 구했다. 이중 한 명은 처음 내 일을 들었을때 자신의 태도에 대해 한참 뒤 또 다시 물었고 내가 서운해했다면 미안하다며 용서를 구했다. 그 전엔 또 그 똑같은 얘에게 당한 피해자 중 한명이 자신의 신분을 밝히기도 했다. 이 모든 것이 나에게는 신호였다. 그러나 가장 중요한 이유는 나의 이야기를 공유함으로써 내 자신을 용서하고 싶었다. 그토록 오랫동안 여성들에게 돌려주고 공헌하고 싶다며 대학시절 읽은 여성학 서적과 쓰고 공연한 여성을 위한 스포큰 워드(spoken word) 시, 머리와 마음은 사회에게 바친다고 생각했지만 당장 내 안에 있는 혼란도 다스리지 못했으며, 강하다고 생각했던 자신이 강간 앞에서 주먹 하나 못 날렸다. 가해자는 평상시 아는 놈이라는 확률이 높다는 통계도 알고 있었으면서 말이다. 왜 안 싸웠지. 나도 원했나? 방 밖에 있었던 친구가 방문을 부스고 도와줄거라고 생각했나? 왜 목에서 피토할 정도로 소리지르지 않았을까.

하지마. 너 지금 뭐하는 거야. 왜그래? 여자친구한테 미안하지도 않니? 그만해. 싫어. 그만하라고. 계속하면 소리지를 꺼야.

뭐라고 할건데. 강간? 그는 비아냥거렸다.

나는 이 사건 수사에 앞장서고 있었던 그녀에게 내 이야기를 들려주며 우린 서로 가까워졌다. 그녀는 사실 이미 다른 생존자들과 주기적인 모임을 가졌고 구체적인 법적 대응도 구상하고 있었다. 우린 결국 형사들에게 단체 진술서를 작성해 제출하기로 했다. D-데이가 가까워지자 예상보다는 증인 갯수가 줄었지만(중도포기하거나 법적 대응을 거부한 이들도 있었다) 나는 영-한 진술서를 작성하고 그녀앞에서 지문도장도 찍고 회사로 돌아갔다. 홀로 경찰서에 그녀를 보내는 것이 걸리긴 했지만 마음만큼은 그녀와 함께했다.

 I mulled over my options for about a week, asking advice from two close friends who knew the perpetrator and knew about my story. One friend even asked me about how he reacted when he first heard about my story and asked for forgiveness if his response upset me. On top of that, one of the survivors, who was an acquaintance came forward. These were signs. Most importantly, by sharing my story, I wanted to start being able to forgive myself. All these years, I prided myself in one day hoping to contribute and give back to women, I mistakenly thought that I have offered my heart and mind to the cause after all that reading on feminism and performing spoken word about women, but yet could not even sling a punch in the face of rape. Why didn’t I put up a better fight? Did I want it? Was I fantasizing that my friend outside the door would break open the door and save me? Why didn’t I scream till my throat bled?

Stop. What the hell are you doing? What’s wrong with you? What about your girlfriend? Quit it. No. Stop. If you continue I am going to scream.

What are you gonna say, rape? He scoffed, amused.

I eventually told the acquaintance my story and we became friends. She had already started regular meetings with the other survivors and was planning to take legal action. In the end we ended up with lesser witnesses (since some of them pulled out or said no to taking legal action), but we still had a group complaint. I gave her my Korean-English testimony and put my fingerprints on it. Unfortunately I could not join her to go to the police station due to work but my spirit was with her.

2일간 감감무소식이었던 그녀에게 연락을 했다. 홀로 경찰서에 찾아간 그녀가 당한 일도 일이지만(그일은 그녀의 이야기임으로 내 이야기에서는 삼가하겠다) 결론적으로 형사의 지시에 따르면 우린 각자 진술서를 제출하고 직접 경찰서에 찾아가야 한다고 했다. 나는 며칠 후 퇴근길에 경찰서를 찾아가려고 그녀가 준 형사의 번호로 전화를 걸었다.

Two days passed. I did not hear from her so I called her instead. She went through a hell of an ordeal with the detectives (since that story belongs to her I will not go into detail), and was told that all the witnesses had to submit individual complaints and hand them directly to the detectives themselves. A few days later, I called the detective she was working with, to ask if I could go to the police station to submit my complaint.

"안녕하세요, 제 친구가 형사님 전화번호를 전달해줬는데요, 그녀가 며칠 전에 각자 진술서를 직접 제출해야 한다고 들어서요. 오늘 저녁에 직접 형사님 뵈러 찾아갈 생각이었습니다."

"Hi, my friend gave me your number. She said we had to submit our complaint ourselves. I was wondering if I could go see you tonight at the station."

"어떤 사건때문에 그러시는거죠?"

"Which case are we talking about?"

"아..그 며칠 전에 경찰서에 찾아간 친구인데...성폭행..."

"Oh, its regarding the rape...my friend went to the station a few days ago."

"그럼 그쪽도 같은 일을 당했나요?"

"Did you experience the same thing(rape)?"

"같은건 아니지만 특별법에 의해 해당되는 건이라고 들었습니다."

"Well, not exactly the same(rape), but I hear it is considered rape with the new sexual crime clause."

"정확히 무슨 일이 있었던거죠?"

"What happened exactly?"

"...아...지금 버스 안이라 말씀드리긴 조금..."

"Oh..I'm on the bus right now. I don't really feel comfortable talking about it."

"아 네, 지금 10시가 다되서 나가봐야할 시간인데.."

"Ah yes. It's almost 10pm, I have to head out soon..."

"그럼 제가 언제 가는게 편하세요? 전 낮에는 출근해야되서요.."

"Oh, then when should I go? I work during the day."

"실례지만 그 일이 언제 있었던 일인가요?"

"I'm sorry but when did it happen to you?"

"작년 6월이요."

"June of last year."

"작년 6월?"

"June of last year?"

"네."

"Yes."

"성폭행 공소시효는 6개월인건 알고 계시죠?"

"You know that the statute of limitations for sexual assault is 6 months, right?"

"아.."

"Oh..."

"그런건 경찰서 오기전에 인터넷에서 좀 읽고 오세요."

"Read up on that kind of stuff on the internet before you come to the police station."

"...."

그후로 그가 전화를 끊었는지 아님 뭐라고 했는지 기억나지 않는다. 그냥 갑자기 급히 버스에서 내리고 싶었고 그녀에게 달려가고 싶었다. 나는 삼각지역 근처에서 버스에서 내린 후 그녀에게 여러번의 시도 끝에 통화를 했다. 그녀도 너무 분노하고 있었던 상태였고 자세한 일은 그녀의 집으로 가서 얘기하기로 했다.

I don't remember if he hung up or he continued talking. I just really needed to get off the bus that moment and run to her. I got off the bus near Samgakji station and called her several times to no avail. She finally picked up. She was raving mad from her own drama and mine, and especially about the statute of limitations. We agreed to get into details when I got to her place.

지하철로 내려가 교통카드를 찍으려고 걸어가고 있었는데 갑자기 시야가 흐려지면서 심한 빈혈 현상이 찾아왔다. 눈가가 뜨거워지기 시작했다. 마음같아선 역 안에서 소리지르고 주저앉아 엿같은 법과 그 형사를 욕하고 싶었다. 그 순간만큼은 남이 날 어떻게 생각하든 이성을 참을수가 없었다. 나는 차 안에서도 그녀와 전화를 끊지 않은체 욕설을 퍼부었다. 그리고는 목도리 뒤에 숨어 내려오는 눈물을 주저할 수 없었다.

I went down the subway station(still saving pennies at that moment in time), and tried to scan my transportation card but my vision became blurry and I got dizzy. My eyes were brimming with hot tears. I wanted to collapse on the floor and curse the fucked-up justice system and the nonchalant detective. I could care less about the strangers in the station at that moment. I stayed on the phone with her on the train and cursed belligerently. After mouthing off, I hid behind my winter scarf as I cried uncontrollably.

내가 역에서 내리자 그녀는 걸려오는 전화가 있다며 나와 전화를 끊은 후 나는 곧바로 아버지에게 연락을 했다. 이 세상에서 나를 가장 사랑해주고 숨기는 것 없이 얘기하는 사이인 아버지. 아버지라면 나와 같이 욕하겠지. 전화했다. 그러나 그는 전혀 예상치 못한 반응을 보였다. 형사와 했던 대화를 그에게 전하자 그는 나에게 "그냥 잊어버려"라며 "뭐 그런걸 가지고 그래"등 사소한 일로 치부했다. 생존자들 모임으로 간다고 하자 그는 갑자기 나에게 "네가 왜 그런데를 가!", "네가 왜 피해자야"등 나에게 윽박지르기까지 했다. 난 뭐라고 대답했지? 아, 맞다. 딸이 피해자라고 생각하고 싶지 않겠지만 피해자라고.

When I got off the train she had an incoming call so I had to hang up. I called my dad immediately. The one person that loves me the most in the world, and hid nothing from each other. We were tight. I knew my dad would curse with me. I dialed his number and he picked up. But his response came from the left field. All he could manage to say was "Just forget about it", "Why are you so upset about something like this?" Furthermore, when I told him I was attending the survivors group meeting, he turned on me and yelled over the phone, "Why would you go to such a place?", "Why are you a survivor?". What did I say in response.... ah yes, I said you might not want to believe your daughter's a victim but she is. Amongst other things.

넌 그날 아무일 없었다며. But you said nothing happened that night.

마음같아선 자세히 말씀드리고 싶었다. 그가 날 어떻게 모욕하고, 무시하고, 교묘하게 다뤘는지. 근데 아버지는 남성중심 사회인 한국에서 태어나고 자란 중년 남성이고, 나를 혼내는 방식과 그의 언어가 그것을 반영했다.

From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to tell him in detail. I wanted to tell him how the perpetrator humiliated, ignored, and manipulated me. But my father was born and raised in Korea, a country that is still rooted in male-centric norms and his way of talking to me and his language reflected that.

그날 저녁 나는 그녀와 단둘이 주방 식탁에서 와인을 마시며 마음을 털어놓았다. 그리고 내가 겪었던 일뿐만 아니라 이 사건으로 인한 오해와 사회적 모순, 나의 갈등을 속속히 이해하는 그녀와 같은 존재가 있어서 너무 고마웠다. 자매애.

That night, I sat on the kitchen table with her and poured out my heart. And I was grateful. Grateful for an existence like her that understood not only what happened to me but the intricate aspects and societal contradictions that were inextricably linked with sexual assault. Sisterhood.



For more information about Disruptive Voices, please visit them on Facebook.



9.12.2013

Women-Only Spaces & Allegations of Reverse Sexism

The Korea Times ran “'Male-free' zones ignite uproar: Some question the legitimacy of woman-only areas” by Park Jin-hai, Kwon Ji-youn, and Yoon Sung-won.

I have never once seen a space in Korea designated 'male-free.' I have seen a few women-only seats and lounges, but even these are rare. The reason Park, Kwon and Yoon flip the script from (still rarely used) 'woman-only' to 'male-free' is to call attention to their perception of reverse discrimination. The article contains a few half-hearted attempts to say that sometimes maybe possibly spaces reserved for women to prevent sexual harassment could maybe possibly sometimes be sort of important to public safety -- BUT really asks 'what about men's rights?' The purpose of the piece is to assert that men’s rights are being denied and that women-only spaces are reverse discriminatory. Park, Kwon and Yoon even go so far as to try to convince us that by pursuing public safety we are unwittingly putting the status of women in jeopardy[1].

That kind of rhetorical game was probably deployed to mitigate the way that the authors disregard evidence of sexual violence, or to  try to show a paternialistic concern for the status of women, or maybe to presume to understand the needs of women and convince women that such spaces are somehow not in their best interests -- but I'm not buying what you're selling.

The authors claim that
“All people agree to some extent that women including those with children should be provided with special care. But as some of the measures put in place include absurd directives it has triggered “reverse discrimination” against men and thus worsened confrontations between members of the opposite sex.”
I argue that it is not just providing for women-only space that cause conflict, but that the larger issue is a lack of public education explaining why such measures are necessary. More importantly, c'mon, sexual harassment itself is already a huge glaring pattern of 'confrontation between members of the opposite sex' that these spaces are designed to address. From a woman's perspective, let me tell you, if I were to weigh the 'confrontation' of sexual violence and harassment with the 'confrontation' of engaging in a dialog with a man explaining why women-only spaces are important, I KNOW which one is the WORSE 'confrontation.'

Reading closely, in the interviews shared in the article, the most-repeated statement by an interviewee is a variation of "I don't understand..." The authors also seem to either lack an understanding of why some spaces were reserved only for women, or they failed to investigate and report the reason in this article. I do think that campaigns that simply label a space ‘women only’ without providing an explanation could cause confusion and misunderstanding.More importantly, inadequately explained policies or labels are a major missed opportunity for public education about sexual violence, privilege and the importance of measures to promote safety.

The authors go on to cite women’s lounges at schools and law firms,
“there are special pink buses exclusively for female passengers. “The idea of having a safe bus ride is good. But having a bus which men are banned from, is tantamount to criminalizing all men and viewing them as potential sex criminals,” said Kang Hyun-chul. “It reminds me of the old-time black-white segregation of the South Africa. It is very insulting.”
*I am not an artist, but you get the point~
Park, Yoon and Kwon describe the activism of members of Ilbe and Man of Korea/남성연대 who snap pictures of women-only spaces for online discussion and offline complaint. Of course Ilbe and Man of Korea/남성연대 members can rush to claim reverse sexism by snapping a pic of the 'women's seat' at the library, because they don't know about or understand that there have been safety problems at the library. These self-proclaimed ‘men's rightists’ argue that they are excluded via reverse discrimination, and this may be partially attributed to the fact that they are not educated about the extent of their male privilege in this context. While the ‘men’s rights’ group thinks that they are being excluded from learning spaces at schools and library, their outrage is amplified the rapid gains made in women's educational attainment. At the same time, they do not realize that by being men they are not profiled in public spaces as a target for sexual harassment.

The signage could read something like “in accordance with ### law to prevent sexual harassment, this seat is reserved for women only” or “due to reported incidents of sexual harassment, this seat is reserved for women only” rather than simply saying “women only.” Doing so would immediately highlight our consciousness of harassment and possibly promote survivor reporting and bystander intervention.

The authors conclude,
“The hard facts still suggest that the status of Korean women lags behind those of other countries ― the World Economic Forum’s global gender gap report for 2012 ranked Korea 108th out of 135 countries around the world.
Yet, some of the measures that have been introduced without being given much thought as to their implications only jeopardize the status of women.”
The authors never explain the decision-making process behind making these women-only spaces and the critique that these are randomly designated spaces ignores the crime reports that are the actual basis for making safer women-only designated bus seats, train cars, library seats and lounges. Let’s get real; promoting the safety of women is NOT going to ‘jeopardize their status.’ Rather than internalizing, accepting and tolerating sexual harassment, visibility around sexual harassment teaches women and men to stand up for safe spaces for everyone.

Finally attitudes described by Professor Kwak,
“As more women pursue careers and succeed in these, the traditional viewpoint that regarded women as weak members of society has changed,” said Kwak Geum-ju, psychology a professor at Seoul National University. “Consequently, some males now go as far as to perceive women as competitors, exacerbating confrontations between the two sexes.”
demonstrate that we need to fill an education gap. We need to make sure that men and women understand these initiatives in the context of public safety, and do not mislabel them as competitive advantages for women. It isn’t about giving women a leg-up in the workplace; it is about preventing the sometimes debilitating effects of sexual violence so that women can safely access education.

Without appropriate public education campaigns to spread awareness, misunderstanding and backlash grow. Efforts to create safe spaces are overturned and women and social minority voices are effectively being silenced by backlash against human rights campaign progress. So let’s spread the word ourselves and help the public understand the reason that these projects exist. Let’s share information about sex crimes, let’s track where they happen, let’s stand up and intervene when we see sexual harassment, and let’s give public education to those who compare the pink car on a subway train to apartheid in South Africa.

This December a new public education project to promote awareness and reporting of street harassment will launch nationwide in Korea. Korean Gender Café 한국 젠더 카페 will soon post updates for those interested in this evolving project.

--
We'd like to highlight a few examples of our public awareness promotion around sexual violence, please see:

Sexual Assault and Harassment, Child Self-defense, Domestic Violence Shelter Volunteer
Seoul Rape Medical Treatment and National Police Hospital (Located on Line 3, exit 1)
What is quasi-rape? Is Park Si-hoo charged with rape?
Queer Corner: Imbalance of Power and Rape in the Korean Gay Community
Sexual Violence as a Migrating Woman, Re: India Story You Never Wanted to Hear
Queer Corner: Violence in a Label - 마짜, 때짜, 올
가정폭력 Domestic Violence Awareness : Music & Media

For another discussion on reverse sexism please see So-called "Reverse Sexism" in Korea 소위 ‘역차별’

For background on Ilbe and Man of Korea/남성연대 see our posts
What is "Men’s Korea" (formerly Boslachi)? 맨즈코리아 ('보슬아치' 사이트), 그들은 누구인가?
What is Man of Korea? ‘남성연대’, 그들은 누구인가?
Korean Male Union & Sexual Harassment 남성연대와 성희롱
Dangerous Man of Korea Fundraiser Ends in Death
‘남성연대’, 페미니즘 그리고 여성가족부의 대안 “Korean Male Union”, Feminism and Korean Ministry of Gender Equality and Family

This is the 70th post on the Korean Gender Café 한국 젠더 카페! *^^*


[1] There are cases where public safety initiatives HAVE put women’s status and safety in jeopardy. For example, I urge Park, Kwon and Yoon to do some reading about refugee camps and peacekeeping operations under investigation where women were segregated and forced to trade sex for resources, were raped by peacekeepers, or were raped while searching for resources due to poor facilities for displaced persons. The pink car on the subway is NOT such an instance.

9.02.2013

Violence Against Womyn Discussion, Seoul, Sept 8, 5-8PM

KGC is re-posting information about an event in Seoul this weekend called "Disruptive Womyn: Violence Against Womyn" hosted by Disruptive Voices at Bar Carmen in Noksapyeong near Itaewon. Please share widely. Information from the hosts below in English and Korean: 

This event will be open to womyn, due to the subject matter~ 


Noksapyeong Bar Carmen
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Time 5:00pm until 8:00pm

This will be the first talk and gathering for the Disruptive Voices community. 

Violence against womyn is more common than it is rare, and many womyn share similar battles and stories where they have been victim to, are surviving from, influenced by, subjected to, and/or know of someone who has a story. 

We are going to focus on sharing our experiences, empowering one another~ and finding ways where we can support and bring one another forward. 

For such a "common" issue, voices are muffled and stories silenced...

You are not required to share your story, if you want to listen or just be, you are welcome. 

RSVP: https://www.facebook.com/events/456692321105053/
This event will be open to womyn, due to the subject matter~

일요일 9월 8일에 바Carmen에서 5시부터 8시까지 모임에 오세요:

Disruptive Voices 단체의 첫 모임에 여러분을 환영합니다.
여성에 대한 학대는 다양한 모습으로 우리 사회에 존재하며 결코 흔치 않은 현상이 아닙니다. 수 많은 여성들이 학대로 인하여 피해를 받아왔으며 그로 인해 아직도 힘들어 하며 지내는 분들이 많습니다.
우리는 여자들만을 위한 공간을 마련했습니다. 같은 여자로서 다른 여성분들의 삶의 이야기도 듣고 본인이 말하고 싶었던 사회적 이슈 등을 자유롭게 말할 수 있는 기회이자 새로운 친구를 알아갈 수 있는 좋은 모임입니다. 
오셔서 다른 여성분들의 이야기만 들으셔도 좋습니다. 여성들만을 위한 안전한 공간에서 차와 술 한잔 하시면서 서로 알아가도록 합시다.

질문, RSVP, 등: https://www.facebook.com/events/456692321105053/

Map: 


8.27.2013

Busan Slutwalk, Sat Aug 31, 6-7PM, hosted by Don't Do That

Don't Do That Campaign welcomes you to participate in a slut walk

I had a great chat today with organizers of Don't Do That (성범죄인식개선캠페인 돈두댓), a campaign to change mindsets about sex crimes. The group is organizing a slut walk campaign in Busan and Seoul. I translated the information below and hope that readers will share it widely. 

Don't Do That Campaign is a voluntary group that comes together to raise awareness about sex crimes. Their site offers a lot of information and is a great resource.

Event in Busan:
On Saturday, August 31, 2013, 6PM ~7PM there will be a slutwalk hosted by the Don't Do That (성범죄인식개선캠페인 돈두댓) Busan Team.
The walk will take place near Bujeon-dong, Seomyeon Subway Station (Line 1 & 2), Exit 1.
Participants will meet at the ally next to Judies Taehwa and march toward Lotte Department store. Please see the map below and spread the word~
For additional information about this event, please contact organizers via KakaoTalk ID jinamarna or via Facebook.

Updated Note to Participants: It seems that the organizers of Don't Do ask that you prepare some appropriate picket signs and it seems like they have some suggestions about clothing: wearing hot pants or short dresses or T-shirts exposing the belly button, even wearing dressdown/business casual is fine. Inquires can be directed to the contact info above *^^* 
Original text: "적당한 노출이 있는 옷차림과 개인 피켓을 준비하시면 되요^^ 옷은 핫팬츠나 짧은 원피스, 배꼽이 드러나는 티셔츠등을 입기도 하고 자유복장도 괜찮아요^^ "

Here is a little map I made of the area in Busan where the slut walk will take place:

This is an image I found of Judies Taehwa storefront, participants will meet nearby at 6PM:



For more information about Don't do that (성범죄인식개선캠페인 돈두댓) please check them out on Facebook, Twitter, and Daum Café

Please share the flyers below. 
Busan readers, if you attend the event, I would really love to hear about it~ I wish I could make it out this time, but I can’t. Please share this event and support the cause. 

Readers in Seoul, I will be sure to provide similar translation/map when I hear from the Don’t Do That Seoul Team.

Another group that may interest readers is Slutwalk Korea. Slutwalk Korea organized the first slutwalk movement in Asia in early 2011. They launched a number of events in global solidarity with the slutwalks that started in Toronto and all over the world that year. They have also hosted global solidarity events for Pussy Riot and on March 8, 2013 for International Women's Day. They have a great Twitter feed and regularly post information related to sexual violence or slutwalk-type events in Korea ( I learned about Don't Do That from a Slutwalk Korea Twitter post).  

8.21.2013

Sexual Violence as a Migrating Woman, Re: India Story You Never Wanted to Hear

(Or maybe we could also call this “Sexual Violence as a Migrating -- queer, socio and economically disadvantaged, mostly white and white-passing, able-bodied, educationally privileged, American, cis -- Woman, Re: India Story You Never Wanted to Hear”)

Reflection on Violence while Migrating

RoseChasm shared her experiences of sexual harassment during a study abroad program and her PTSD mental leave of absence from school to CNN iReport "India: the Story You NeverWanted to Hear" on August 18, 2013. (Updated) A response iReport "Same India-Different Story" by twoseat affirms the reports of sexual harassment and also brings a discussion of racism and nationalism. CNN also posts a lengthy statement to the story.

WHEN I reposted this iReport to my own Facebook wall, I wanted to de-emphasize India in the headline, so I wrote “This is a story about sexual harassment and street harassment.” The reason that I de-emphasize India is because I am hesitant to participate in uniquely calling out India for violence against women. I have not been to India. I have travelled in other countries and I have heard first-hand from friends abroad and in the U.S. with similar experiences of street harassment, sexual assault and violence against women. In my view, women who are migrating may be treated differently and/or targeted for violence.

ON this blog post, I hope to further emphasize this point and discuss migration, race and other factors that affect experiences of sexual violence. Sexual assault and harassment are global in scope, but I think survivors experiences (and certainly my own experiences) can be affected by shifts in privilege associated with migration.

I have experienced sexual violence in the U.S. and Korea. Perhaps like RoseChasm I also find it difficult to discuss for a number of reasons. In particular, it is difficult for me to discuss the violence I have experienced in Korea because I want to share deeply complicated contexts and personal ideas that are not easy to sum up. I do not want those listening to my story to think that it is a story about Korea - because it isn’t a story about Korea - my story is about sexual violence. The mechanisms of violence against women in Korea and in the U.S. may differ in some specific ways (location, context, dialog, tone and cues) but they are more alike than different. The stigmatization of women and sex, denial of reproductive rights, slut-shaming, rape culture, poor funding for women’s social services, restricted access to quality ob/gyn care, police and legal discrimination, etc. are common to both societies and found world-wide. However, comparing my experiences of sexual violence in the U.S. and Korea, some differences do emerge, and I tend to think they are related to my own position in society and particularly my citizenship and race.

IN the United States I have experienced sexual violence and felt relatively assured of and informed about my legal rights, access to medical care and the availability of support services. This absolutely offered me a greater sense of security and of my capacity to cope with violence. This is not to say that I wasn't silenced in some ways, some people around me minimized my story or even blamed me. While abroad and as a non-citizen, I have to put different effort into seeking legal recourse, there is a barrier in services, and it may be harder to find support. This also impacts my sense of security and ability to cope harassment and sexual violence. While abroad, some fellow expats and some nationals have also minimized my story - some tried to tell me that I misunderstood a 'cultural difference' and others, instead of hearing my story, rushed to tell me that they had experienced the same or worse in the U.S.

We often think of sexual violence in very narrow terms, sometimes calling it a "women's issue" or failing to be inclusive of all voices. Rape and Sexual violence in the United States and other countries is not only violence against women, but also racial and gendered violence (other examples are terribly abundant but violence on reservations and against transwomen are two that I wanted to highlight here). Although I am mostly white and white-passing (rather, I glow in the dark), I have also experienced sexual violence accompanied by cues related to my race such as racial slurs or references specific to my nationality. I don't mention this in an attempt to equate this and other deployments of racism in sexual violence, but I point this out because it exists and it happens.

I hear often from Korean and Korean-American women who grew up, travelled to or lived in the United States about the fetish sexualization of their bodies as 'exotic' and the accompanying harassment from American men. We saw evidence of many of these stereotypes recently in the Asian Girlz song and music video, but the very real sexual violence and slut shaming of Asian and Asian-American women is generally overlooked in the United States. Thus, I feel that in sharing experiences of sexual violence that occurred in Korea, I simultaneously need to hear and challenge sexual violence in the United States. I am concerned that attention to sexual violence against white women, while absolutely important to our dialog, can get tied up in media and individual-level racism if we place one-sided emphasis on certain societies as perpetrators and certain survivors' voices.

Support for Survivors 

THE kinds of legal recourse or emotional support facilities we might be able to utilize at home may not be present or visible enough for migrating women. Expats do not always have the same rights or access to rights in a society. For example, recently for employment and visa-related reasons three women I know were in effect discouraged by police from making reports or pressing charges against an assailant. By having a pending case, they feared their employers would drop them in a few months when contract renewals are up, and without an employment contract they would lose their legal visa status. The police reminded them one that they may have legal trouble that lasts longer than their visa eligibility and that it could be inconvenient to be summoned back to Korea for the case. This in turn evoked fear about finding translators or a lawyer to help with the case, about their sexual assault being publicized in the workplace, at school or among their social circle, about recovering the huge ($10,000) security deposit they made for their apartment lease if they lost the visa status and had to leave earlier than anticipated, etc. etc. etc. Some of these concerns are unique pressures tied to living abroad. Other stigmatization and slut-shaming might be tied to race or nationality, I am so tired of hearing that Sex and the City is representative of Western women and their sexual promiscuity.

THE rape of women that are migrating or transiting through countries is especially under-reported in the US, and in many places there are inadequate facilities for support, medical treatment or legal aid for migrating women (see Tiffany Kim's research with Latina migrants in the U.S.). In other regions important NGOs and state actors have stepped up to extend that support to non-nationals.

EVEN when there are legal or social support facilities operated by a state, they may be problematic and migrating women might not want to use them. Interviews of those who use facilities for migrant women show some criticism of the services (see Grace Cheng & Joan Yoo's research with marriage migrants women in Korea). Compared with familiar facilities available in one's home nation, language and legalese might make a sexual assault survivor abroad feel less empowered to act. Documents might not be translated in a language one is comfortable with. Women might perceive that the Multicultural Centers and Migrant Women’s Shelter are tied up in a problematically racialized “Multicultural Policy" that exerts pressure on non-citizen women in a variety of ways or with national pride/image in mind. Therefore, these spaces may be uncomfortable for some women and impact their perception of safety of of their rights.

RECENTLY in South Korea we have observed that expat women are building their own spaces to provide support for sexual assault survivors. Perhaps this could be because the existing spaces fail in some way to meet their needs. Groups such as Stand Up to Sexism, JeollaSafety Alliance, Hollaback! Korea, and Disruptive Voices bring together community members to discuss sexual violence, prevention and awareness.

Violence Against Women Abroad

I appreciate and respect RoseChasm for sharing her story of sexual harassment and for highlighting the problematic institutional response to her PTSD and to survivors who participated in a university study abroad program. Survivors of sexual violence challenge our system with their stories and call for solidarity and awareness about sexual crimes.

TOO many of our international and personal responses to violence against women incorrectly emphasize women’s migration itself as the problem, when we need to challenge societies the world over to change attitudes toward women.

OUR international regime to address human trafficking grounds itself in migration policy and links to organized crime, thus far too many nations respond by restricting the ‘illegal’ movement of women instead of addressing employment structures in origin countries and inadequate legal and social protections for women in destination states (see Vidyamali Samarasinghe's research on trafficking policy).

IN Korea, the state Multicultural Policy singles out domestic violence in international marriages to justify increasing state intervention into the ‘multicultural family’ and hysterize divorce, without acknowledging that Korean families in similar socio-economic conditions have comparable violence and divorce rates. One reason may be that foreign women are perceived as the most easily mobilized resource to solve the various family crises and care-work burden facing Korean society (see Hyun Mee Kim's research on Multicultural Family Policy).

IN the U.S. this iReport could be an opportunity to articulate how privilege operates differently in the U.S. as a white woman, (with some presumed) economic or educational privilege, and based on citizenship. RoseChasm talks about the preparation to go abroad - I think other organizations also try to 'prepare' (particularly) white women for what will happen when they go abroad and are not ‘protected’ by certain racialized and gendered social and legal structures that in the US tend to emphasize their rights or voices as sexual assault survivors when women of color or migrating women might be ignored or more actively silenced by the same social or legal structure in the US.

Advising Women to ‘Protect Themselves’

I have participated in a number of programs abroad, interviewed for other abroad programs, and myself managed or been in charge of orientation for abroad program participants. I have been the recipient of and the provider of advice to women and men in navigating personal safety and acclimating to differing positions of privilege while abroad. I have heard, internalized and offered advice similar to what RoseChasm reports,
“I was prepared to follow the University of Chicago’s advice to women, to dress conservatively, to not smile in the streets.”
Similarly, I was advised extensively about what not to wear as a woman, how (not) to drink, advised not to participate in later ‘rounds’ of outings with co-workers, etc. I was told as a newly arriving woman in Korea that if I entered a motel and was raped, the police would not believe me. I was warned that entering a motel would be seen as consent to whatever ensued thereafter. I was told stories of women who came before me and experienced ‘problems’ or ‘cultural misunderstandings.’ This advice came both from fellow Americans and from Korean staff overseeing programs. There was not a lot of discussion about how to respond to sexual harassment or violence.

I felt deeply uncomfortable with this advice, and when it was my turn to serve in temporary short-term capacities offering advice and reflection to Americans abroad, I parroted the stories but thought that I was framing them with my own view that it is never the victim’s fault. I told women it was not their fault if they were sexually harassed but that advice was offered as how to try to behave in order to possibly avoid some of it. I shared my own experiences of navigating street harassment, but tried to emphasize that my response is not THE response and that these are individual choices, I offered up stories of other friends. I told GLBT members that it was their choice to be out or come out, but offered up stories of what friends who had (selectively) or hadn’t experienced, and talked about the stigmatization I had seen in media about homosexuality. I felt that what I was saying was not good enough because I felt it was important to challenge the root of the problem, which was violence directed at people based on their gender and sexuality.

Inadequate Institutional Responses to Violence Against Women

WE see again and again that institutions such as Peacekeepers, Peace Corps, U.S. Department of State Fulbright Grant, study abroad programs and others, may not take adequate measures to support members who are assaulted, to listen to stories of violence and initiate policy change, to push for legal rights or social support for participants, to take care of their members who are abused. Institutional accountability needs to be more clearly articulated and this dialog is important.

PERHAPS a part of the problem may be that some people overseeing these programs do not personally experience the violence, or because of their own gender/race/sexual orientation/class*/educational*/citizenship status* lack an awareness of how these privileges might operate and affect the safety of program participants, or deny that sufficient 'proof' of violence exists. It is flawed to say that we care about the safety of our program participants, simplistically advise them to ‘be’ safe, but fail to adequately emphasize their safety to partner organizations or advocate for their safety in our broader work - when we vote, in our mindsets, and with our own participation - in social and legal structures.

WITH only a few months experience in Japan, or with only a year of experience in Korea, I was chosen to help new arrivals with their own process of acclimation. I was not an expert, and even years later my own views are constantly changing and growing based on experience. I am aware that by being selected for these positions by an institution - based on my race/gender/sexual orientation/class/educational background - other voices may not have had the same priority in an program. Institutions may rely too much and too passively on women, people of color and LGBT members to step up and speak out or apply for the kinds of leadership programs that I sought, but these same institutions should be accountable for caring about safety, questioning conceptions of safety from diverse perspectives, seeking out knowledge and sharing it. It is not enough to passively welcome women, people of color and LGBT members to speak, rather institutions needs to take a more active role in learning and incorporating diverse concerns in their safety programming. Thoughtful safety policies require careful consideration of gender, race, sexual orientation, citizenship status, etc.

Poor Media Responses to Violence Against Women

AGAIN and again we see troubling coverage of violence against women in the media. I am particularly disappointed that CNN iReports updated the story in the days after it was published to add a “producer note” BEFORE the text by RoseChasm. I took a look at a dozen other iReports and while most had an ‘Editor’s note’ that provided background info/credentials about the writer or summarized a related new story, NONE directly or indirectly questioned the iReporter's motive for sharing their report or offered a lengthy quote by an opposing viewpoint or institution.

The “CNN Producer Note” quoted below in effect minimizes much of RoseChasm’s story, seems to question her motives for sharing the story, and prioritizes the words of the University of Chicago staff and professor who manage the study abroad program [emphasis mine –CBM]:
CNN PRODUCER NOTE     Please note that CNN cannot independently verify the events described in this post [This is the fundamental premise of the CNN iReport system, isn’t it? The reports are not made by CNN staff, but by people on the ground. Yet, by writing this, CNN seems to cast doubt or distance themselves from this iReport –CBM]RoseChasm says [Was her iReport in doubt? –CBM] she shared her account of studying abroad in India and experiencing repeated sexual harassment in hopes of spreading 'international exposure about what women travelers and residents experience in India.' [Why do her motives need context? None of the other iReports I have read question the motive of the iReporter CBM] The University of Chicago issued the following statement [Why does the UofC statement come BEFORE her report? –CBM]:
'Nothing is more important to us at the University of Chicago than caring for the safety and well-being of our students [And apparently they or CNN care quite a lot about making sure that UofC gets this statement out there in cases when a student shares about threats to their safety BEFORE we even read the story about sexual harassment –CBM], here in Chicago and wherever they go around the world in the course of their studies. The University offers extensive support and advice to students before, during and after their trips abroad [Be specific: How extensive and how useful? –CBM], and we are constantly assessing and updating that preparation in light of events and our students' experiences [Be more specific: How will it changed based on this report? What has the institution learned from this story? –CBM]. We also place extremely high value on the knowledge our students seek by traveling and studying other civilizations and cultures, and we are committed to ensuring they can do so in safety while enriching their intellectual lives.' Dipesh Chakrabarty, a University of Chicago professor who was in India for the first three weeks of the session, told CNN that he was unaware of RoseChasm’s situation [Then why is he being asked to comment on this ireport BEFORE we read RoseChasm’s story? –CBM]. He noted, though, that the university tries to prepare students for what they might encounter while abroad.'Both faculty and staff in Chicago and our local Indian staff counsel students before and during the trip about precautions they need to take in a place like India,' Chakrabarty said in an e-mail. 'Ensuring student safety and well-being is the top priority of both the College and staff and faculty associated with the program.''Every year about 25 students enroll in it and several have gone on to become India-specialists by doing PhDs on the country and its past and present. This is the first time that I personally have come across such a serious problem,' he said. You can read more about this story on CNN.com.
- katie, CNN iReport producer” 

*I think that class, educational background and citizenship status are important to discussions of migration and sexual violence. Processes of migration are heavily impacted by these statuses.  

1.24.2013

So-called "Reverse Sexism" in Korea 소위 ‘역차별’

**
In this post I want to discuss the claims of “reverse sexism” or victimization of men made by two blogs in response to recent Korean laws designed to prevent sexual abuse or promote gender equality. This is not to say that men cannot be abused, but according to groups like Man of Korea (남성연대described here) and the site formerly known as Boslachi (보슬아치 사이트) which is now called Men’s Korea (맨즈코리아 described here) Korean men suffer from “reverse discrimination” based on gender as a result of these and other laws. The argument stems from the establishment of ministries and laws to rectify historic gender discrimination, prevent sexual violence, and address social and political inequalities that subordinated women's human rights. Last November, Eri Kim wrote a powerful piece rebutting the supposed “over-empowerment”of women in Korean society. Eri Kim asks, why a group of men keep referring toprograms for women’s rights as “reverse sexism.” I don't think that designing such policies is 'reverse discrimination' against men because: 1) they do not strip men of their human rights, but rather enforce women's human rights, 2) they are enacted to bring about gender equality, 3) 'reverse' implies that men do not enjoy social and political privileges, but they still do (please see The Grand Narrative for a discussion on women's workforce participation here and here for starters), 4) this is a much weaker argument, but the vast majority of politicians and judges presiding over Korean law are men, and finally 5) women do not occupy a hierarchically superior position to structurally discriminate against men in the way that women have been recipients of discrimination in the past. 

여기서  소위역차별 남성들의 성폭력예방법의피해자라는 인식 대해 얘기하고싶다. 지난 11월에 김에리씨의 기사가 인상적인 이야기로 남성연대나 보슬아치사이트의 소위 여성들이 월권행위를 한다는인식을 반박했다. 김에리가 유독 일부 한국 남성들은 같은 상황에서도역차별생떼를 쓰는 것일까냐고 했다.

The first issue I would like to discuss is the Korea Men’s Union’s attitude toward the regulation of the sex industry (I previouslyposted about their attitude toward sexual harassment here). The group opposes the current legal regime that attempts to address sex trafficking. Recently the Court system upheld a case protecting the rights of a minor in a coerced sex scenario, under the sex trafficking prevention and youth protection laws. In the September 9, 2010 ruling, the Supreme Court found that:

 “A (male) and B (male) approach a pregnant runaway 16-year-old teen C (female) and tell her that they will help find a way for her to earn enough money for abortion. B then solicits C to take takes naked photo shots and then forces C to sign a contract for sex. In the meantime, A gets arrested for an unrelated crime and is sent to a prison. In addition, B, C, and A’s wife split the money earned by procuring and coercing C to have sex with at least 12 customers. The court rules that even though A was physically absent, he still is guilty because he did not prevent his partner from coercing the teen to have sex or take photos.”
첫째로 남성연대의 성산업의 규제에 대한 인식을 비판하려고 한다남성연대 성매매특별법을 반대하고 있다. 최근에 대법원의 판례중에서는 십대소녀가 성행위를 하도록 강요했던 악덕 포주들을 성매매특별법으로 처벌하여 여성의 인권을 보호했다. 대법원 2010.09.09 선고 20106924 판결에 따르면,
갑이 을과 공모하여 가출 청소년 (, 16)에게 낙태수술비를 벌도록 주겠다고 유인하였고, 을로 하여금 병의 성매매 홍보용 나체사진을 찍도록 하였으며, 병이 중도에 약속을 어길 경우 민형사상 책임을 진다는 각서를 작성하도록 , 자신이 별건으로 체포되어 구치소에 수감 중인 동안 병이 을의 관리 아래 12회에 걸쳐 불특정 다수 남성의 성매수 행위의 상대방이 대가로 받은 돈을 , 갑의 등이 나누어 사용한 사안에서, 병의 성매매 기간 동안 갑이 수감되어 있었다 하더라도 갑은 을과 함께 미성년자유인죄, 청소년의 성보호에 관한 법률(2009. 6. 9. 법률 9765 아동청소년의 성보호에 관한 법률로 전부 개정되기 전의 ) 위반죄의 책임을 진다고 원심판단을 수긍한 사례.”
The Korea Man Union opposes the laws because they are worried about their personal interest, insofar as they do not want to be criminalized for buying sex. However, they do not express much concern for sex workers human rights and working conditions, nor for the prevention of sex trafficking or for minors trafficked into the sex industry. Although the Law is not perfect (which we discuss here) rather than focusing on so-called ‘men’s rights’ the group should realize they share common interests with women in Korean society. The Korea Man Union should more carefully consider the social and legal conditions for sex workers in Korean society.

남성연대의 성매매특별법을 반대하는 이유는 개인적인 이익을 위한 성구매로 불법 형사처벌를 받고싶지 않기때문이다. 그들은 인신매매된 사람들과 십대소녀들의 인권에대해 별다른 우려를  표명하지 않는다. 성매매특별법은 완벽하진 않지만 소위 남성의 권리 주력하지 않고 한국사회에서 남자들과 여성들 사이에 공동 이익을 위하여 함께 도움이 있는 방향을 지향하는 법이다. 남성연대가 인신매매, 여성인권과 성노동자의 법적인 사회지위에 대하여 신중히 문제를 고찰해야한다

Secondly, I will discuss ‘everyday sexism’ by some men and women in society. For example, some men  complain about reverse sexism these days but they do not understand what it is to be a woman in society.

둘째, 사회의 일상 성차별 대해 얘기해보자예를 들면 몇몇 남성들은 역차별 대해 불평하면서 여성들의 일상 생활에서 겪게 되는 성차별을이해하지 못하는 같다.

Sometimes when my close (usually) male friends get upset about the laws designed to prevent sex crimes, they say that are all men are treated as ‘potential criminals’ by the law. I get very frustrated because if those men really want to change society and do something about rape culture (which contributes to the threat and fear of sexual violence), first they might consider carefully voting for sound political platforms and politicians that will pursue policies to end violence, or they should take everyday action to criticize other men's sexist language and discriminatory actions toward women, obviously they themselves must not rape and should learn how to prevent rape (by learning about rape culture, for example), and they should think about gender issues.

주변 남성들에 따르면 그들은 항상 자신들을 예비 성범죄로 보는 시선에  불편하다고 얘기를 하며, 이는 나를 화가 조금 나게 한다. 남성들에 대한 불편한 시선에 사회적 인식변화를 만들려면  우리는 성범죄 혹은 성차별에 대한 올바른 인식을 가진 정치가들을 선출하여 모두가 인정할 있는 법을 만들어야한다. 또한 일부 남성들은 그릇된 성의식을 가지고 여성을 비하하거나 성차별하는 행동들을 개선해나가는 노력이 필요하다. 물론 성폭행은 일어나지 말아야한다.  그들은 젠더 이슈에 대해 생각해야 한다고 생각한다.

Finally, due to high incidence of rape, victim-blaming and social acceptance of the conditions that promote or permit rape we can say that Korea has a rape culture (which is criticized by SlutWalk Korea 잡년행동_슬럿워크 here and on Twitter @SlutWalkKorea ). Sometimes when news of a rape or sexual crime comes out these male friends may think that they do not have to bother to care about these issues, instead they complain that they are looked at by women around them as if they are potential sex offenders. But, in that case they should first think about the purpose of the law to protect women and children from crime, and carefully consider the anxiety that women and children experience everyday in society. In addition, if they really want to see a change they should get involved in elections and in demanding a widespread change in our rape culture society. 

결론으로 성폭력을 방관하는 현상 사회적으로 성폭력행위를 안일하게 생각하는 행위때문이다.어떤 남성들은 뉴스에 나오는 성범죄 사건들이 자신과는 상관없는 일이라고 하며 사건에 관심이 없지만 몇몇 남성들을 예비 성범죄자로 보는 시선을 불만느낀다고한다. 하지만 이런 사건들로 인해 불안해 떨고있는 여성들과 어린이들의 입장을 생각한다면 그들을 어떻게 보호해야하는가를 먼저 생각하는게 중요하다고 생각한다. 또한 이러한  문제를 개선하고 싶다면 선거에 참여하여 공정한 의식을 가진 정당을 뽑아  우리 사회의 성폭력 방관현상 금지 요구해야한다고 생각한다


Court Case Referenced:
대법원 2010.09.09 선고 20106924 판결 【사기·청소년의성보호에관한법률위반(강요행위등청소년의성보호에관한법률위반(청소년이용음란물제작·배포등미성년자유인·절도·공문서부정행사】 [2010,1960]

*About the image: This image was found as part of a series titled 남녀 역차별 posted on 2009/08/12 by VertiGo. This particular image was captioned 여자가 남자때리면 용감하다 or "If a woman hits a man she is brave."